My dad took me to Asda earlier to get some food shopping, so he could ensure that I had food and that I would eat. He got me like £60 worth of food, my fridge freezer and cupboards are packed. He also got me this fab Thumper dressing gown that has a hood. Oooh and I got some Batman stuff for JackJack.
However going there was fucking horrendous. There were so many people and my anxiety proper flared up. I felt so awkward and I ended up hiding in a clothes rail at one point because there was so many people. If my dad wasn’t there I’m pretty sure I would have just had a massive breakdown. My point is, I thought I was getting better with public and my anxiety but clearly not and it fucking sucks.
Have you ever wanted to cry but no tears came out, so you just stare blankly into space while feeling your heart break into pieces
Single most heartbreaking gif I have ever seen
Sleeping alone is taking its toll on me since them days. I miss having you in my bed, me sleeping on your chest with your arms wrapped around me, them little kisses you give on my forehead to prove to me I’m safe with you. I’m just ugh. What sucks is the fact I feel like I’m falling for someone I know I shouldn’t because of reasons but uh, you’re such a nerd and adorkable and sigh.
man all i want is to cuddle with you and bake you cookies and make your favorite food and sit on the couch all cuddled up with you and watch your favorite movie with you and then go to bed with you and maybe listen to your favorite album with you and jump around with you and then when we get tired of doing that we could fall asleep on the floor with pillows everywhere and put my face on your chest and just make you feel loved every day of your life
Going to my mother’s later today which should be interesting. So going to cause more harm than good by going but it’s something that I NEED to do.
I really want to sleep but I’m not tired in the slightest and this actually upsets me. I feel like shit tbh and therefore all I want to do is go to sleep, that is to avoid taking anything out on myself. Ugh, I hate it ‘cause sleeping is fab and I don’t sleep properly. Oh, what I would do for a good nights sleep. Sigh.
Here is a list of things that suck right now:
- I miss people
- I’m sleeping alone tonight
- My pillow smells like Aaron
- I am a broke ass bitch
- I wanna see H
- I want to know if I got that place or not
- Wants cuddles now plez
- I need to tidy my flat
- Uuuuuuuuuh, get back here.
I haven’t been able to breathe properly the last two days and my throat and nasal passages hurt. I believe I am ill. WHY? I hardly see people, how? Omg. I am so blaming H’s uni and people and her and omg nope.
do you ever get mad at yourself because you’re not even good at the things you thought you were good at
I’ve found myself at a point and I’ve lost all hope in everyhing and everyone. It’s time to step back and stop fighting all of this. Everything isn’t what it’s meant to be like and I can’t handle that.