I'm Jam. 21.
Insane earthling with a cat complex. Meow.
Weeps at tv shows and drools over women, wbu?
Here is a list of things that suck right now:
- I miss people
I never thought I’d be where I am right now. I’m having to make a decision between two people and it’s really hard because I don’t really know what to do. One is a good friend whom acts like a dick a lot but yesterday I learnt a different side of them. Then there’s my closest best friend and that’s where it’s difficult because they both know each other. I’m not sure what to do but I know that I don’t want to lose either of them. Making a choice is hard and the fact they have both said I need to make one kind of hurts. I need to really think, I want to spend time with them both alone to see what happens but idk. Ugh.
People who I know always tend to get involved with other people’s business, especially when it really has nothing at all to do with them. Really starting to get sick of it all if I’m honest. I want to be able to live my life and do what I want without people trying to stick their noses in. At the moment I have a fair amount going on and idk what is going to come of it. A thing has made me happy though and I don’t want that to change, well change of the better sort would be fab. I’m going on too much, shhh.
I’ve found myself at a point and I’ve lost all hope in everyhing and everyone. It’s time to step back and stop fighting all of this. Everything isn’t what it’s meant to be like and I can’t handle that.
I’m so thankful to the people that mean something to me atm. In the last few months I’ve got to know people well where I live and them guys are amazing. They’ve been there for me and I thank Charles so much for just being there. He’s incredible. Ant is a little shit and that’s what makes him great. Chantelle is a girl I’ve become really close to and she is damn right awesome. So glad I’ve met them 3 people because they’re just fab.
I know now even though it hurts, when H goes to uni I will be okay. I’ll talk to her most days and stuff and I’ll visit but I have some amazing support from some amazing people and that’s why I’m thankful cause I don’t know where I’d be without them or H.
P.s. brobri ~ forever between bread.
I’ve had a very interesting day which has included finding childhood stuff, listening to music, falling through the attic at my mam’s house, taking a dog for a walk, seeing my brother, impaling my hand on a nail, having a bath, and making stir fry.
I really haven’t done a personal post in a while and it’s mainly down to the fact I have simply too much shit going on to even begin to write about it. All I will say is I have some pretty amazing people in my life right now and they have been beyond incredible especially Charles. He is precious and without a doubt the one person I am trusting of whom I’ve known for such little time. I need to sort things out. Uh. Update coming soon.
See the thing is all people tend to do to me is ask me how I am and what’s wrong and that’s nice of you and all, but doing it constantly isn’t fucking helping. I’m sick of constantly lying to people. I’m not okay and I don’t know what’s wrong. So much has happened in the last year and I can’t quite comprehend it all. I feel like I’m drifting away from everyone and I know that isn’t any good for me. I’m feel like I’m going to start locking myself away again and I don’t want to do that but I just really don’t want to be around people or anything. I’ve had so much stress as of late and I just don’t know what to do any more. Things are getting way too much and I just want to run away and hide for a while.