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I'm Jam. 21.
Insane earthling with a cat complex. Mow.

Weeps at tv shows, laughs at self and drools over women, wbu?

I told my boyfriend that I feel super pretty today and he said “but you always are!” Awh okay, you’re a keeper. Most of the things he says are things I’ve never had from anyone else before and its so lovely to find someone who actually cares for me. Like when I’m feeling crappy he usually does but makes sure he manages to cheer me up. That’s what a relationship is about and I’m so glad I have him.

Oh man but the other night when I wasn’t at home, I had one of the nicest nights sleep in quite a while and oh man it was just lovely. Cuddles are always perfect in bed :3.

I really need to vent to someone and get some advice but I don’t know if it will actually help how I feel and stuff. Ugh, why is this happening, this isn’t meant to be a thing and I want it to end. I know how to end it but I can’t bring myself to do it and fuck.

I’ve been ill since like the 29th and it is a massive no. Last Wednesday I had to have an ambulance called for me because I couldn’t breathe at all. I’ve had a headache on and off since then, I’ve also passed out a few times. I’ve got a viral infection which is totally fun but it’s not fucking going away. I’m at the point where I will murder someone, I’ve had a migraine since Friday night, I’ve hardly slept in since then and most of yesterday and some of today I’ve been puking. Like seriously can this virus fuck off now, I’ve hardly eaten in nearly two weeks and I can’t drink water without puking after. Ugh, can I be better yet? I don’t take well to being ill at all.

Since I’ve been ill I’ve been eating less and less. The thing is it doesn’t bother me that much, I’ve always had a smallish stomach but it’s silly now. At about 4pm I ate a sandwich and a pack of crisps. I was full, I’ve been drinking smoothie today but only like half a liter. I’m still full. Like what’s going on?

One of the weirdest sensations and things to me right now is the whole making out, fucking thing with my ex. Like he still lives at mine and we both still love each other. We’re still doing stuff like we are a couple but we’re not and what, it’s so weird and probably not the greatest idea but uh.

You know what, I’m gonna be okay. I can help myself now without having to worry about others. I can. Get rid of the toxins in my life and carry on to be a better, stronger person. That’s what I need, to help myself yet I didn’t know how to. Now I do, things are gonna be fine and I’ll get on with it because that’s what we as humans have to do. Gonna please myself before others and spend some quality time with myself with the bullshit, pain and everything from others. Time to be what I want to be anf progress myself, you did my a favour so thanks :)